Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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