The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Alive.
So much puke
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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