is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
