Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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