one might say we're banned from that church
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
