no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
