He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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