i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
