Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
