She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
