Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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