if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
