Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
