I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
