Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize