All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
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He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize