ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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