dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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