what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
