Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
