i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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