Come see our sink grown plant.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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