Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
