The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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