She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Can you repeat that, but with context?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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