His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
