I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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