i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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