I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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