i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize