I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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