i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
