What did we do last night that was yellow?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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