She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
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Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
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I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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