Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I love having hate sex.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
