i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I wish i was in the wii world.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
