Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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