Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
