take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Randomize
