He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
