Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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