sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
