I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize