why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
