Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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