I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
