pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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