my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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