you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
