i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
