i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize