no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
