Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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