p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize