you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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