Your mouth is God's brothel.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
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