My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
