Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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