i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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