No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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