this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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