why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Mom said you looked used
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
